she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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