oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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