We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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