you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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