For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
