Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
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At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
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Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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