He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
