That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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