erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
