so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
