Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize