I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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