I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize