Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
