I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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