So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
