i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
