Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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