when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
