His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
