he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
