Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
