Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
