Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
