Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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