Well douche your snatch and let's go!
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize