bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
