Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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