just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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