'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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