She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
