just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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