His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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