the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
