i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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