walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.