Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??

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(248) i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem?? http://tfl.nu/bwq7

Replies (14) Good night (3584) Bad night (1077)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.

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(732): Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab. http://tfl.nu/smzr

Replies (7) Good night (1959) Bad night (757)
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(650): View more from California

We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.

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(650): We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you. http://tfl.nu/6i0s

Replies (19) Good night (4995) Bad night (1027)
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(305): View more from Florida

I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.

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(305): I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success. http://tfl.nu/yoei

Replies (16) Good night (6100) Bad night (927)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.

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(203): just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now. http://tfl.nu/42b8

Replies (7) Good night (2683) Bad night (897)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"

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(412): there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty" http://tfl.nu/qrhn

Replies (18) Good night (6528) Bad night (1073)
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(818): View more from California

You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.

(805): View more from California

Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.

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(818): You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy. (805): Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people. http://tfl.nu/c90f

Replies (2) Good night (2266) Bad night (607)
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(949): View more from California

He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.

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(949): He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do. http://tfl.nu/7uqv

Replies (10) Good night (2103) Bad night (908)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better

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(920): Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better http://tfl.nu/nui9

Replies (5) Good night (548) Bad night (1573)
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(804): View more from Virginia

I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.

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(804): I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for. http://tfl.nu/5fqm

Replies (2) Good night (1542) Bad night (544)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day

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(780): Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day http://tfl.nu/bjmm

Replies (2) Good night (975) Bad night (560)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels

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(204): God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels http://tfl.nu/dxhw

Replies (12) Good night (1052) Bad night (528)
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(563): View more from Iowa

Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.

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(563): Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break. http://tfl.nu/2dfj

Replies (0) Good night (906) Bad night (365)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.

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(860): Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July. http://tfl.nu/b542

Replies (2) Good night (815) Bad night (258)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.

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(250): You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is. http://tfl.nu/r86g

Replies (2) Good night (451) Bad night (267)

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