Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.

  (519): View more from Ontario

  If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.

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  (512): I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself. (519): If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey. http://tfl.nu/1rre
  Replies (158) Good night (1718) Bad night (1112)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.

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  (314): I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore. http://tfl.nu/n30o
  Replies (18) Good night (4720) Bad night (1181)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.

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  (623): I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take. http://tfl.nu/lajr
  Replies (24) Good night (4683) Bad night (1209)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.

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  (912): we bribed her with croutons and jello shots. http://tfl.nu/71j8
  Replies (4) Good night (3339) Bad night (861)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.

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  (541): I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom. http://tfl.nu/ubxd
  Replies (3) Good night (1844) Bad night (969)
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  (510): View more from California

  You did a strip tease for the toilet.

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  (510): You did a strip tease for the toilet. http://tfl.nu/5nns
  Replies (6) Good night (2501) Bad night (1155)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?

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  (208): You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right? http://tfl.nu/dxzt
  Replies (6) Good night (2188) Bad night (885)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.

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  (240): YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN. http://tfl.nu/d5pr
  Replies (12) Good night (2571) Bad night (721)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night

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  (503): It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night http://tfl.nu/ctpp
  Replies (12) Good night (639) Bad night (3305)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?

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  (413): How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA? http://tfl.nu/rcz7
  Replies (16) Good night (1004) Bad night (561)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.

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  (720): Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy. http://tfl.nu/nimg
  Replies (2) Good night (933) Bad night (382)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero

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  (425): Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero http://tfl.nu/rxr0
  Replies (4) Good night (975) Bad night (348)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.

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  (773): I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose. http://tfl.nu/dyi2
  Replies (1) Good night (528) Bad night (311)
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  (310): View more from California

  I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better

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  (310): I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better http://tfl.nu/klrf
  Replies (2) Good night (511) Bad night (370)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night

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  (651): So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night http://tfl.nu/mng4
  Replies (2) Good night (475) Bad night (303)

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