Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  what if I'm pregnant?

  (848): View more from New Jersey

  smusmorshion

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  (908): what if I'm pregnant? (848): smusmorshion http://tfl.nu/vksj
  Replies (103) Good night (2127) Bad night (3108)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.

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  (313): I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan. http://tfl.nu/kp2g
  Replies (31) Good night (878) Bad night (2730)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow

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  (812): My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow http://tfl.nu/ea94
  Replies (236) Good night (66427) Bad night (3016)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.

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  (804): I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work. http://tfl.nu/4b6j
  Replies (9) Good night (3440) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...

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  (203): That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa... http://tfl.nu/lw9n
  Replies (7) Good night (2333) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener

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  (970): she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener http://tfl.nu/dutw
  Replies (6) Good night (2590) Bad night (1300)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break

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  (805): The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break http://tfl.nu/smih
  Replies (3) Good night (2887) Bad night (880)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario

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  (314): I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario http://tfl.nu/9b6y
  Replies (3) Good night (2166) Bad night (1406)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that

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  (806): Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that http://tfl.nu/ovs4
  Replies (8) Good night (2742) Bad night (931)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.

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  (541): Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids. http://tfl.nu/e2e0
  Replies (12) Good night (2363) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.

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  (206): i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment. http://tfl.nu/5sgm
  Replies (2) Good night (1755) Bad night (1299)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..

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  (732): Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say.. http://tfl.nu/7n6y
  Replies (3) Good night (567) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.

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  (760): I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube. http://tfl.nu/kpp6
  Replies (7) Good night (705) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.

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  (803): By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding. http://tfl.nu/2avy
  Replies (6) Good night (814) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.

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  (302): I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts. http://tfl.nu/roj7
  Replies (4) Good night (762) Bad night (127)

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