please come you make the beer taste better
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
