so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
