RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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