Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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