you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
She has the best kind of daddy issues
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
