she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
