I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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