I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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