it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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