It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
