Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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