Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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