One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
