If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
