ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
