i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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