is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
should my penis look like a turkey
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
