wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
