at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
smell my finger.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Randomize
