Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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