can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
ugly people sure do ruin things
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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