In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
