Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
