Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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