he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
