Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
