I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
