i wish my penis had a tongue
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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